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Sunday, August 27, 2006

Talking Tittie #2

I talked before about my special friend Koan and I going to see a consultant about her breast augmentation. Well she had the operation yesterday and today she is home with big bazoomas! She is a bit uncomfortable but far more mobile that either she or I thought she would be.

I was amazed at how fast everything happened. I took her to the hospital at 12 noon and we were told that the operation would be 1.30 -2.00pm. We sat and chatted about fast turnaround operations. She had a tendon fixed in her finger within a couple of hours when she was 17. My story was a bit quicker on the 'well, let's get on with it' clock.

After I had 'Little Beaver' my 'Man of Many Contradictions' and I discussed contraception. He was willing to have the 'snip' but, since I always live by the belief that you never know what is around the corner and men remain fertile - like forever - it might be something he regretted in the future. So I decided to have a coil fitted.

I went to the Family Planning Clinic and got an appointment for that afternoon. Upon arriving I saw the Nurse and she explained everything. 'OK' I said, 'when?' 'NOW!' was the reply. Then she said 'We have a Student Doctor here today, would you mind if they attended at your appointment?' Well, having given birth to two children when I was so distracted that I would not have minded the car park attendant in the room - trust me all dignity goes out the window when you give birth! So I said 'No problem'. It was summer so I had on a short denim dress and was told all I needed to do was take my pants off and lie on the bed with my knees apart.

In came the female Doctor along with a boy student who looked about 19 to me. Hey-ho I felt! Well - here I am, let's go for it. The coil was fitted with lots of medical references to my 'flower', my 'tubes' and whatever I have between my 'lady' and my reproductive bits.

So this young man had looked at my parts for about 5 minutes. The coil was fitted. The Doctor opened the curtains to give me all the information I needed about follow up appointments. My problem was - I hadn't had the chance to put my pants back on!! This young man had stared up my 'fud' for at least 5 minutes - but I could not put my knickers on in front of him - how weird is that?!!? I wondered about just sneaking them into my handbag but guessed I would be found out.

I had to ask 'Do you mind if I close the curtain to put my pants back on?' I felt like a one night stand being told that the steady girlfriend was arriving shortly. The poor young Student Doctor started a nervous laugh and then tried to contain it - which made it even worse. I have never been more embarrassed in my life. But it was the fastest medical procedure turnaround I have ever experienced!!

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

A little bit morbid - but thoughts from today

I was at my friend's Dad's funeral today. I had never actually met her Dad, and I really wish I had.
I remember when my Dad died, some 17 years ago. The time before the funeral is such a limbo. I found the service and 'wake' afterwards such a watershed. It is what I guess could be called 'closure'. I find it amazing that my Dad often appears in my dreams and I never find it strange. When he died I was very afraid that I would forget his voice, his smell, his demeanor etc. I never have. Maybe that is what 'after life' is. Being in the memory of those that survive us. I sat in the Chapel thinking how good it would be to have such faith in 'Heaven' or 'God' or something, and not be afraid of dying. It must be amazing to live with the kind of certainty that there is something beyond this life. I try to be a 'good' person and I would hope that counts for something.
Not like me to be so morose, just wanted to type what I am feeling right now.